Well, that was unpleasant.

32 days in! Yay! Ready for 30 day progress pictures! Yay!

NO. Those pictures did not come out well. At all. I didn't really notice any difference and of course Matt looks great. He still has a long way of course, but at least he had a noticable differnece! I am slightly jealous of him. But oh well, today is a new day, and I am bound a determined to make this work. I have noticed I do not have that jiggly boob/ armpit fat anymore, which is great, so I just have to tweak my expecations a little bit and hopefully next month will yeild better results.

After talking to some wonderful ladies yesterday, I realize that I may not have had the best results since I might not be eating enough. I have cheated, of course, but mainly I will stay around 1400-1500 calories, BUT I am also working off a ton with the workouts, and not refueling enough. So I have to start watching my diet more closely and tracking dilligantly. I need more protien so I am off to the store tonight to get some supplies.

Also, Matt got us fancy new heart rate moniters for an early birthday present and they have been eye opening! We have only used them twice so far, but I worked 500-something the first day with strength training and 640 yesterday with the cardio! I was shocked. I though I had done it wrong, but looking around online that seems like an average amount for P90X workouts. Its hardcore.

My arms really hurt from the month 2 arm workout, but its a good hurt of course. Goodbye boob fat, hello bikini...well.. someday.

One step forward, two steps back.

I have been feeling less motivated lately, even though we have still been working out. I am kind of in a slump, we are now 30 days into our P90X and I do not feel any different. There was a few days where I felt thinner, but now I feel like I gained it back or something. I hate that my weight can define how I feel in my day to day life.

We had a party at my house this weekend, and I felt like I had a really cute outfit. My friends love to take pictures and always want a girl picture. Bad idea. I hate pictures, I really really despise them. The pictures are so unflattering for me, and I feel especially whale-like when I am sandwiched between my thin friends. I felt so bad after I saw those pictures. I went straight to my room and put on my stretchy pants. It is still hard for me to see myself at this size, and see how tight the clothes are fitting me.

I am really in a slump and I want to get out. I was doing so well (mentally at least) and that really helps to stay motivated. I think we might take our 30day progress pictures tonight so hopefully that will not bum me out more. I have thought once or twice about posting them on here to make myself continue to move forward, but I am not sure I have the strength yet. I was really hoping to see more of a difference at this point.

Oh well, I am done being a debbie downer for right now. It is easy to stay down and get off track, but it is much harder to continue on even if I am feeling bad today.

"If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end"
- Julius Erving