One step forward, two steps back.

I have been feeling less motivated lately, even though we have still been working out. I am kind of in a slump, we are now 30 days into our P90X and I do not feel any different. There was a few days where I felt thinner, but now I feel like I gained it back or something. I hate that my weight can define how I feel in my day to day life.

We had a party at my house this weekend, and I felt like I had a really cute outfit. My friends love to take pictures and always want a girl picture. Bad idea. I hate pictures, I really really despise them. The pictures are so unflattering for me, and I feel especially whale-like when I am sandwiched between my thin friends. I felt so bad after I saw those pictures. I went straight to my room and put on my stretchy pants. It is still hard for me to see myself at this size, and see how tight the clothes are fitting me.

I am really in a slump and I want to get out. I was doing so well (mentally at least) and that really helps to stay motivated. I think we might take our 30day progress pictures tonight so hopefully that will not bum me out more. I have thought once or twice about posting them on here to make myself continue to move forward, but I am not sure I have the strength yet. I was really hoping to see more of a difference at this point.

Oh well, I am done being a debbie downer for right now. It is easy to stay down and get off track, but it is much harder to continue on even if I am feeling bad today.

"If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end"
- Julius Erving