Well, that was unpleasant.

32 days in! Yay! Ready for 30 day progress pictures! Yay!

NO. Those pictures did not come out well. At all. I didn't really notice any difference and of course Matt looks great. He still has a long way of course, but at least he had a noticable differnece! I am slightly jealous of him. But oh well, today is a new day, and I am bound a determined to make this work. I have noticed I do not have that jiggly boob/ armpit fat anymore, which is great, so I just have to tweak my expecations a little bit and hopefully next month will yeild better results.

After talking to some wonderful ladies yesterday, I realize that I may not have had the best results since I might not be eating enough. I have cheated, of course, but mainly I will stay around 1400-1500 calories, BUT I am also working off a ton with the workouts, and not refueling enough. So I have to start watching my diet more closely and tracking dilligantly. I need more protien so I am off to the store tonight to get some supplies.

Also, Matt got us fancy new heart rate moniters for an early birthday present and they have been eye opening! We have only used them twice so far, but I worked 500-something the first day with strength training and 640 yesterday with the cardio! I was shocked. I though I had done it wrong, but looking around online that seems like an average amount for P90X workouts. Its hardcore.

My arms really hurt from the month 2 arm workout, but its a good hurt of course. Goodbye boob fat, hello bikini...well.. someday.

One step forward, two steps back.

I have been feeling less motivated lately, even though we have still been working out. I am kind of in a slump, we are now 30 days into our P90X and I do not feel any different. There was a few days where I felt thinner, but now I feel like I gained it back or something. I hate that my weight can define how I feel in my day to day life.

We had a party at my house this weekend, and I felt like I had a really cute outfit. My friends love to take pictures and always want a girl picture. Bad idea. I hate pictures, I really really despise them. The pictures are so unflattering for me, and I feel especially whale-like when I am sandwiched between my thin friends. I felt so bad after I saw those pictures. I went straight to my room and put on my stretchy pants. It is still hard for me to see myself at this size, and see how tight the clothes are fitting me.

I am really in a slump and I want to get out. I was doing so well (mentally at least) and that really helps to stay motivated. I think we might take our 30day progress pictures tonight so hopefully that will not bum me out more. I have thought once or twice about posting them on here to make myself continue to move forward, but I am not sure I have the strength yet. I was really hoping to see more of a difference at this point.

Oh well, I am done being a debbie downer for right now. It is easy to stay down and get off track, but it is much harder to continue on even if I am feeling bad today.

"If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end"
- Julius Erving

So I don't want to brag or anything

But I did 111 pushups and 54 pull ups last night. Keep in mind I do most of my pushups on my knees and use a chair for support with my pullups. BUT I know for a fact that I am much stronger now than I was when I started. I push myself to do more now, but when I started I would just give up.

I also joined myfitnesspal and I do not know how I feel about it yet. Tracking the food is okay, even though I had a book that I would use anyways, but the exercise part is throwing me off. First off, there is no "P90X ARMS" workout logged in, I have to put in each workout separately. And secondly, it does not count any calories for strength training! I am working my ASS off, I know I am burning some calories! And the last thing I want to do it under-eat. I think I am going to get a heart rate monitor so I can be sure.

On another note, Matt has started to notice his pants fitting looser! I have also noticed a flatter tummy on me as well. I have not felt a difference in my clothes yet, but I will stay optimistic. My hips and thighs have been a problem all my life, so I am sure they will be the last to go.

Indiscretions.

The weekend is my enemy. Summer weekends is when people want to have BBQs, go out for drinks, or have a potluck. I cannot say I did well, but I will also say I did better than I usually would have done.

I am still trucking along as best I can. I missed one day and I am going to do everything in my power to make it up tonight. I hate that I let myself miss a day but I love that I feel guilty about it. That is definitely growth in my book.

I think I might try this for dinner tonight. Looks good, easy, and have all of the supplies at my house.

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/07/easiest-pasta-and-broccoli-recipe.html#more
(my new favorite website by the way)

Easiest Pasta and Broccoli RecipeGina's Weight Watcher RecipesServings: 6 • Size: 1 1/2 cups • Old Points: 6 pts • Points+: 8 pts
Calories: 289.2 • Fat: 7.1 g • Carbs: 48 g • Fiber: 4.9 g • Protein: 11.7 g • Sugar: 1.0
Sodium: 103.7 (without salt)

Ingredients:

• 12 oz uncooked pasta
• 6 1/2 cups fresh broccoli florets, no stems
• 5 cloves garlic, smashed and chopped
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan or Romano
• 2 tbsp olive oil, divided
• salt and fresh cracked pepper

Directions:

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. When water boils, add pasta and broccoli at the same time and cook according to pasta instructions for al dente. When pasta is almost done cooking, reserve about 1 cup of the pasta water and set aside. Drain pasta and broccoli
Return the pot to the stove and set heat to high; add 1 tbsp olive oil, when hot, add garlic. Cook until golden, reduce flame to low and add pasta back to the pot.

Mix well, add remaining olive oil, grated cheese, salt and pepper to taste mixing well and smashing any large pieces of broccoli to break up
Add 1/2 cup of reserved pasta water and mix well adding more if needed


Tonight is chest and back again. I cannot believe this is week 3! This is most definitely the longest I have ever stuck with anything. I even want to buy a heart rate moniter now so I can track my calories and stuff. I downloaded myfitnesspal for my phone so I can get a handle on my diet as well. I love this new life, it is uplifting to actually care about my body for a change, rather than just eat myself into a stupor and complain about it.

I guess I have to learn the hard way.

Something I will know from this day forward: Just because I am feeling great does not mean I can fit into anything. I put on a pair of pants that fit perfectly just 3 months ago and now I am feeling like a full sack of potatoes. I guess my body has not quite caught up with my mind, and I should not torment myself with wearing too tight clothes until I am a few more weeks in. Bad idea.

On another note, we tried plyometrics again last night. We did better, but still could not complete the video. It is very hard and we pushed ourselves as far as we could, so that is really the best results we can ask for. Maybe by next week we can complete it. This will not be the death of me.

1/12 of the way done

Sounds good to me. Actually, 1/12 sounds bad. But honestly, this is just the first week of the rest of my life. I really shouldn't be counting down the days until I am done because this is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix diet.

We started our second week of P90X last night. Its chest and back again. I really cannot believe it but I was able to bang out more pushups and pullups than last time. And it is probably just my imagination, but my pants seemed to have a little less resistance this morning in going up. Tonight is a redo of our failed plyometrics video. We made it to 25 minutes last time, hopefully we can do the whole thing or at least much more. I have got a good feeling. I need to fight through the pain and reap the rewards.

On another note, I made a great dinner last night! It is a Shan twist on Red Robins Chicken Caprese Sandwich.

Yield 4
4 hamburger buns or buns of your choice
2 boneless skinless chicken breast, butterflied
Pesto Sauce of your choice (I used a knorr pesto sauce packet)
4 Slices fresh mozzarella cheese
Preferred veggie toppings

Cook the butterflied chicken breasts on the stovetop with a little non stick cooking spray. I seasoned with a little salt & pepper, but you can use any seasonings you would like. Toast buns. Once chicken is cooked, spread desired amount of pesto sauce on bun. Place chicken, mozzarella cheese, and toppings on bun. I served this with some baked french fries.

I didn't calculate how many calories were in this recipe, but it is definitely much better than something we would make before. We used the pesto sparingly, and loaded lots of lettuce, onion, and tomato on our sandwiches. I couldn't even finish mine, it was delicious!

I am glad that I am finally starting to control my portions, since that was my biggest problem in the past. I used to be able to eat all day long. Isn't the first step admitting you have a problem? Bring on step two. I am ready.

Bring the pain

Ouch. This is my seventh day on P90X. This means (gasp, could it really be?) REST DAY!! I am beyond excited for rest day since I can hardly move my legs. We did Legs & Back workout on Saturday and the pain is fully hitting me today. I must have done a million calf raises and now I cannot even straighten my legs. This is intense, but I am so happy. I do not think I have stuck with anything (besides Matt of course) for 7 days. I am very proud of both of us.

Friday was Yoga. Man was that hard. I felt like a whale flopping around on the floor and if I ever hear the work downward dog again I might scream. I have so much respect for yoga-ers since this whole workout was pretty much impossible for me. As time goes on, hopefully I can do better.

Saturday was Legs & Back FROM HELL. Actually, during the workout, it was so much fun. I felt great. Mr.Man was saying "okay you do not have to grab weights here if you are just starting" and of course I thought, HA I have been doing this for 5 days now TYVM, I will be grabbing weights! Bad idea. I am in a lot of pain still from this. I can walk if I hunch over and bend my legs and look like smeagol. Smeagols cute right?

Yesterday was Kenpo. This one might be my favorite work out. It is hard, and really gets your heart pumping and ass sweating. Yes, my ASS was literally sweating. Everything was sweating. I could hardly breathe. But it was fun. There is a ton of kicking, punching, grunting, and moving. It made me feel strong and like I could kick someones ass 'til Tuesday.

So, one week down, 12 more to go. Honestly, that sounds awful. TWELVE more weeks. But I am hoping to get in a routine where it is just natural to come home and work out, rather than come home, plop my big butt on the couch and plop a bag of chips in my mouth. We went grocery shopping last night and bought mostly all healthy food. I really wanted oreos but after checking the labels, I do not think I can spare 70 calories for ONE oreo. Yes, each oreo is 70 calories. I used to be able to eat 10 oreos in one sitting, 700 CALORIES IN OREOS?? No wonder I am fat. But, now is not the time to dwell on the past, just to look forward to what is coming now. I sense good things coming for Matt and I, whether it is weight loss or just a healthier life, only good can come from this and I have to remember that.

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, and hour, a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."
-Lance Armstrong